I could not sleep last Thursday, February 17, 2011. I was awake until 4AM Friday morning, fretting, thinking, rethinking, analyzing, and regretting. I tried all of those cliched home remedies — warm milk (I’m not a fan of milk, so that was my level of desperation), melatonin (6mgs when I usually take 1mg), reading in low light, boring television, counting sheep, a deep breathing routine. Nothing. I hadn’t been that anxious about something in years.
Earlier that morning, I visited Christopher’s house. Well, I thought I was visiting Kim, Christopher’s mom. We were going to talk about Camp Confidence, a camp I started last year for kids with AS. When I arrived, I asked my customary question: “Do you want me to take off my shoes?” Kim laughed and said not to worry. Then, I looked up to see Christopher and his brother. “Why are you guys home?” I asked. Kim said, “It’s a special day off from school.” I joked, “If you guys keeping have special days off, you will be going to school well into June.” (We’ve had a lot of snow in Kansas City, which is akin to saying the North Pole has a lot of 80 degree days.) I was ushered into the dining room and, then, bam! camera in my face. You see (or you will see in the clip, please click here) that the special day off from school was for me.
All day and all night, I reviewed every answer to every question I was asked in my head. In hindsight, I cringed at some of my responses. I downright groaned at others. I hoped and prayed for editing because I wanted Christopher and all of the clients I serve to be seen in the best light. I realized that light for me is not best when attached to the end of a television camera and shoved directly next to my face. But, I had this opportunity to speak for them, and, well, I laid in bed knowing I could have done better.
To watch that video, though, was perfect. I’m not the star, and I have never wanted to be. The light, you see, shines brightly for and on Christopher. He is a star, the star. I didn’t need to worry about what I said because he said it better. Better than I could ever have imagined.
I am simply proud, honored, and blessed to know him, his brother, and his family. Thank you, Christopher.