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Sex Ed and AS: Pornography, PMS, and Protected Sex

15 Oct

“If I tell a girl that I have AS during her menstrual cycle, will she get angry? Will she dump me?”

A group of 19-year-old guys and I have been talking about dating, AS, and their biggest enigma, the opposite sex. We have been trying to decide how and when to disclose a diagnosis of AS. One of the guys thought that the bedroom, right before some level of intimacy, would be the right time. “All things are bare, pun intended,” he said. Then there’s the issue of how to put on and how to introduce a condom. “How about ‘Here’s my little friend’ in a Michael Jackson voice?” What’s more — “What is PMS? Why does it change the behavior of women? Why does she turn into such a female dog?” Ironically, these issues turn into questions only after the boys have expressed their facts on the issues. Then, they remember I am a woman, and I might be able to help.

To be honest, what frustrates me is they genuinely do not know because no one has told them. They have read books, but, as they tell me, this information isn’t the same as “facts” from a human being. They tell me that they feel “perverted” for wondering about these things, for searching the Internet for information only to end up at some pornography website. They sheepishly admit to looking at this pornography, while apologizing because they “know” that is “not how to treat a woman”.

So, I deliver the facts as appropriately as possible. Here are some of those facts, in case you need them:

1. Credible statistics on pornography, including “90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn online (most while doing homework).”

2. Facts about PMS, including “current estimates are that severe PMS occurs in 2.5 to 5 percent of women, and mild PMS occurs in 33 percent of women.”

3. Tactful demonstration about how to put on a condom.

4. Is online dating for losers? Some facts about how many people really do date online.

Do you have issues that you have struggled with or others have wondered about? Facts that you have shared or learned that have been really helpful? As someone who works with guys on a daily basis, I would appreciate any information you can provide.

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